Concentrate
by Jacqueline
Summary: Alex's helps Liz find the truth about Max's death.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:  I don't own or have anything to do with Roswell the TV show.  So don't sue. 

Summary:  Liz deals with Max's death.

Category:  Max/Liz

Rating:  PG

Author's Note:  I needed to write this after watching Max die.  Hope you enjoy.  Let me know what you think.

Chapter One:

"Oh God."  She sobbed covering her mouth with her hands to stifle the moan that invaded her.  Everything inside her screamed out with the injustice.  How is it possible?  How can it be true?  And yet she knew it was true.  He's really gone.  "No!"  Liz roared covering her mouth with her hands as she frantically wiped at the tears streaming down her face.  

She took a deep breath, looking around her at the others in the room.  She wanted to scream, to let them know that their lost could never compare to the blind anguish cursing through her.  That they didn't understand.  But she knew deep down that the group around her loved him and was mourning his loss as well.  So she swallowed the resentment that rose inside her. 

Blinking back the tears she turned from her friends.  The only people in the world who knew that he was really gone.  How could she face them?  They all knew that she'd left him.  How could she be so stupid?

Running her hands over her face she turned away unable to face them.  Her chest heaving with the pain surging throughout her she ran out of Michael's apartment, down the street.  She didn't know where she was going; she just needed to get out of there.  Away from the faces of the people who loved Max.

Sobbing Liz ran blindly, making her way through the streets of Roswell.  Her body trembling from the pain surging inside her she raced on unaware of her surroundings. 

Her exhausted body heaving she fill to the ground, her wail echoing through the air around her.  Wiping the tears from her face she looked up staring blindly into the darkness.  Her breath caught in her throat when she realized that she was kneeling in front of Alex's grave.   What had brought her here she didn't know, but she felt comforted in the knowledge that in her darkest moments Alex's was still a beacon in the dark.

Taken deep breaths she held a hand over her heart, her chest heaving from lack of oxygen.  "Oh Alex…" She moaned wiping at the tears coursing down her face.  "He's gone.  He's really gone."  She cried.  "I feel so empty.  So incomplete."  She moaned.

Taking another deep breath she looked around her.  Really looked around her for the first time.  Death!  That's what this place emulated. Death!  Why was she here?  Why did fate direct her to Alex's grave?"

"No!"  She screamed into the silence night.  "I won't let you win."  She yelled as she got to her feet.  "We won't let you win."  She sobbed covering her face with her hands.

"You won't let who win, Liz."  The question seemed to come out of nowhere.  Looking around her startled, her heart pounding Liz surveyed the area around her.

"Who said that?"  She demanded.

"You won't let who win?"  The question echoed in the dark.

"Alex…"  Liz moaned her heart throbbing in her chest.  "Your dead.  Your not really here."  She demanded turning to where the sound of his voice had emulated.

He stood before her as if he were really there, not a figment of her imagination.  He looked like he had the last time she'd seen him.  So happy, so full of life.

"Alex…"  She moaned.

"Concentrate."  The imagine before her said.  "Concentrate.  Close your eyes and think Liz."

"I don't understand."  Liz yelled.  "What are you trying to say?"

"No one has every been connected to him as you have.  Do you feel him?  Is he really gone?"  Alex smiled as he raised his hand toward her.  "Don't believe what you see, what you hear around you.  Concentrate… Liz.  Is he really gone?"

"I don't understand, Alex what are you trying to tell me?"  She begged.  "He's gone… he's gone."  She cried dropping to her knees sobbing.

"Close your eyes Liz. Concentrate… on Max… connect with him."  Alex encouraged her.  

"I can't… Alex… I can't he's….he's… gone.  Oh, God."  She sobbed.  "He's dead."

"Concentrate…try Liz…try.."

Taken a deep breath Liz closed her eyes willing her heart to slow its racing tempo.  "Concentrate…connect with him."  Alex's voice echoed around her.  Clearing her mind she concentrate on Max.  The feel of him, his smile, his scent, anything that reminded her of him.  

Nothing!  She felt nothing.  She couldn't feel him anymore.  He was really gone, really dead.  Her heart raced as she took another deep breath willing a connection to Max. Willing for any sign that they were all wrong, that he is alive.  That he needed them to save him from whatever hell he was in.  

It invaded her so quickly she fall flat on her back. The energy pushed its way throughout her body, rushing inside her causing her breath to lodge in her chest.  "Max…" She moaned tears running down her cheeks.  'I love you.'  The words slammed into her so forcefully she arched her body from the impact.  Drawing huge amount of air into her starving lungs she struggled to her feet, her heart beating wildly.  'I'm still here.' the voice echoed in her head.  'I'm still here.'

"Oh my God."  Liz moaned wiping frantically at the tears blindly her.  "He's alive.  He's alive."  She shouted her heart pounding.  "He's alive." 

TBC


	2. Concentrate Chapter Two

Chapter Two:

She paced nervously, like a wild animal imprisoned in a steel cage.  Her heart racing she glanced at the others across the room.  They didn't believe her.  She could feel it, taste it in the air.  Fear raced through her.  She needed them to believe her, to help her find him, to bring him home to his family, his friends, to her.  'God what the hell is wrong with them?' She screamed in her head.  'He's alive.  He's not gone.  Why can't they feel him?'

They stood hovered together in a tight huddle across the room from her, occasionally glancing in her direction.

"I think she's officially lost it."  Michael stated glancing her way once again.

"Dame it… cut it out Michael."  Isabel demanded angry.  "This isn't the time for your stupid jokes."  Her voice edged with the pain towering over her.

"God…"  Michael covered his face with his hands.  "I'm sorry…I'm just so…"  He turned away not wanting them to see the tears pooling in his eyes.  'I will not cry.'  He told himself.  'I will not cry.'  "I'm sorry."  He repeated his voice caught in his chest almost choking him as he fought against his tear.

"Do you think it's possible?"  Maria asked looking at Liz pacing across the room.  She wanted so badly to brake down and cry, to grieve for her lost friend, but she couldn't.  She had to be strong, strong for Liz, for Isabel and even for Michael.

"How the hell is that possible?"  Michael shrieked, running his hands through his hair.  "Valenti saw him die.  God…"  He yelled taking a deep breath.  "He saw him disintegrate right in front of him."

"They don't believe me, Alex."  Liz cried moving frantically around the room.  "They don't believe me."

"Make them believe."  The whispered voice echoed in her head.  "Make them believe."

"How?"  She demanded frustration coursing through her.

"Who the hell is she talking to?"  Maria asked staring at Liz her heart pounding in her chest at the sight of her.  Her hands covering her mouth she watched Liz, her best friend.  Everything in her wanted to run to her and enfold her in a huge hug, but the wild look on her face, the frantic movements of her body warned her to keep away.

"We have to do something."  She said tears running down her face.  "We can't leave her like this, Michael…we can't."

"I know… sweetheart…I know."  He said pulling her into his arms, holding her tightly against his broken heart.

"They don't believe me.  How am I going to do this alone?  Talk to me damn it!  How am I going to do this alone?"  She demanded all rationally thought escaping her.  "I can do it."  She reassured herself.  "I can do it alone if I have to."  Liz continued her pacing around the room.  "I can do it."

"Maybe we should tell your parents, Isabel."  Maria said wrapping her arms around herself.  "Maybe it's time for them to know what's going on?"

"I don't think that's a good idea.  I mean what are we going to say?"  Michael smirked.  "Mr. and Mrs. Evens, you remember your son don't you?  You know the one that robbed that store, the one you've been spying on for the past few months.  Well he's an alien and because of it he's dead."  Michael took a deep breath.  "No thanks…. I can't see it."

Maria felt her heart slam against her chest at the anger in his voice.  "I'm … I'm… sorry, Michael.  I was just trying to help."

"Lay off Michael."  Isabel demanded pinning him with her eyes.  "She's just trying to help."

"God…" He yelled loudly, turning to stare at Liz.  "I've had enough.  He's gone.  The Great King of Antar is gone and nothing we do will bring him back."

"He's not."  The soft-spoken words would have gone unheard if Michael's statement hadn't brought the two women next to him to silences.

"I've had enough of you."  Michael yelled turning to give Liz his full attention.  "We know you love him, we all love him.  But that won't bring him back… damn it.  It won't bring him back."  He yelled letting the tears fighting for release slide down his face.

"No!"  Liz roared looking at the others across the room.  "You got to believe me."  She cried.  "You got to believe me… he's alive.  He's not dead.  He's there.  I felt him.  I connected with him.  Believe me…please."  She begged.  "Please help me.. help me help him.  Isabel…"  She stared straight into the eyes of the one person who loved him just as much as she loved him.  "Believe me please… believe me.  He's alive, he's out there and he needs our help."

Isabel stared back at her.  So much pain radiated from her, so much grief.  She wanted to believe with everything inside her.  She wanted to say okay I believe you.  I'll fight with you until the day I die.  I'll fight to bring him back.  But she knew…. she knew that Valenti saw him disintegrate right in front of him.  She knew without a doubt that Max was dead.

So how can she except what Liz is saying?  How can she look at her and say okay Liz let's do it, let's bring him back.  But bring him back from what?  Is there anything left of him to bring back?  Is he really somewhere?  She wasn't sure.   She didn't know and it tore at her heart.  So many things has happen, so many bizarre things in her life, but this… this elusion. She wanted to grab on to it.  She wanted to hold it close to her heart.  She wanted to make it her anchor because she missed him.  She loved him and she felt like she was dieing without him.  But could she make herself believe?  Could she make herself want, thrive on him being alive?  To try and retrieve him only to find out in the end  that he's really dead?  Really gone?  How could she do that?  Is she willing to pay the price, the pain of realizing that he is dead after everything they went through to bring him back.

God she wanted to go to Liz and hug her and say yes I believe you… he's alive… I believe you.  But it isn't that simple.  She love him and she would die for him if it would bring him back.  She would gladly give her life no matter what it took, no matter how much pain she had to endure, but could she believe what Liz felt?  Could she give herself that much when he was disintegrated to nothing, to ashes?  Was she willing to deal with the pain, the agony?  Was she ready to feel the hope that he was out there waiting for them to plunge him out of hell only to be disappointed when they found out that all their work, all their attempts was for nothing, because he was dead, he was really gone.

She looked at Liz and she wanted so badly to say yes I believe you.  He's alive, you feel him.  There hasn't been anyone more connected to him then you so I believe you.  But is she ready to feel the agonizing pain surging through her again, rendering her senseless, emotionless.

So she turned away from Liz and kept her questions, her worries to herself.  She didn't want to be the one to tell her no Max's is dead, he's dead, because everything in her prayed to God that she was right.  That he isn't really dead.  So she looked at Michael, her heart throbbing in her chest, her breathing shallow, she waited for him to response to Liz's statement, to her demand.

Liz walked up to them closing the distances between them.  "You have to believe me."  She said.  "You have to believe me.  I didn't want to believe it myself.  I didn't feel him… I thought he was dead and I grieved for him.  I felt his loss like a slap in the face.  But a friend, a special friend told me to concentrate and I'm asking you… I'm begging you Isabel, Michael, Maria.  Please concentrate.  Hold my hand, close your eyes and let me show you what I felt.  Let me show you that he's alive and he's waiting for us to free him.  Let me… please…let me."  She grabbed Maria's hand and with the other hand she took Michael's.  Michael looked at her stunned but he didn't pull away.  He gripped Isabel's hand as Isabel took Maria's other hand.  They closed their eyes and Liz concentrated.  Concentrated on the feel of Max, the smell of him and in an instance the connection was made.

"I'm still here."  The soft whisper ricocheted through them.  "I'm still here."  It echoed throughout the circle.  "I'm still here."  His energy vibrated throughout them, surging from one to the other until it completed the circle.  "I'm still here.  Help me.  I'm still here."


	3. Concentrate Chapter Three

Chapter Three

  It was a dark and gloomy night.  Angry clouds cloaked the stars casting the group into darkness.  A flash of lighting stuck the sky followed seconds later by a deafening roar.  It brought the group out of their individual thoughts, bring them swiftly back to reality.

"What's taken them so long?"  Maria demanded crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to ward off the chill in the air.

"Don't worry their coming…I spoke with Valante and he said he and Kyle is on their way."  He reassured her pulling her into his arms, contributing his body heat to hers.

"What the hell are we suppose to do, Michael?"  Isabel demanded her heart racing in her chest.  "Where are we going to start looking?"  

"Their coming."  Liz cried, cutting off Michael before he could answer Isabel.  "There…"  She pointed at the headlights in the distant.  "Their coming."  Her heart raced as she paced impatiently.  She wanted this over as quickly as possible.  Wanted to see Max, to hold him.  Because once she was in his arms again she was never going to let him go.

The car came to a sudden stop right next to the group.  Valanti sat in the driver's seat and watched them for a few seconds before making him self get out of the car.  Kyle jumped out of the passenger side and followed his dad a few steps behind him.  His eyes at once searched out Isabel.  Everything in him wanted to rush to her and haul her into his arms to reassure himself that she's really okay.  But he held himself back.  She isn't his, he has no right feeling this way about her.  'She belongs to Jesse.  She belongs to Jesse.'  He reminded himself, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.  She almost died, he almost lost her completely.  His heart pounding he closed his eyes as the image of her laying on his dining room table covered with blood, shaking uncontrollable sliced through his mind.  Never had he felt the consuming terror that held him in its grasp, as he stood helpless watching them trying to save her.

"What the hells going on here Michael?"  Valanti demanded when he reached them.  "I must have misunderstood what you were saying on the phone…"

"No… it's true he's not dead."  Michael said.

"That's not possible, you guys."  He said looking at the faces around him, their eyes radiating their misguided hope.  He didn't want to be the one to make them face the fact that Max's is really gone, but he have no other choice.  "I saw him… I saw him dissolve into nothing right in front of me."  Holding his head between his hands he took a deep breath and stared up at the dark anger sky.  "God… don't you think I want to believe it.  I want to… but I know what I saw and I can't see him coming back for that."  He wanted to scream, to cry, to hit something…someone.  Groaning he closed his eyes his pain rushing through him.  He felt so helpless.  He knelt on that cold ground and watched the man who not only saved his life, but the life of his son murdered and he didn't do anything to save him.  He should have done something, anything.  Damn it he use to be the sheriff of this God forsaken town.  He knew how to deal with situations like that, but he did nothing…nothing.                

As if sensing his thoughts Kyle walked up to him placing his hand on his fathers shoulder.  "It wasn't your fault dad.  You didn't do anything wrong."  He reassured him squeezing his shoulder affectionately.  Valanti placed a hand over Kyle's turning to look at his son pain rushing through him when he thought of the gut wrenching pain the Evan's will have to endure when they were told about their son's death.  

Liz watched them, everything in her wanted to scream. 'Calm down.'  The whispered command echoed in her head.  'Calm down.'  But how could she when she felt this uncontrollable energy racing through her.  It started from somewhere deep side her and lingered at her fingertips.  Raising one of her hands she tried to she it in the dark.  

"I can't believe your actually thinking that you're responsible for this mess."  Maria asked tears hovering in her eyes.  "How can you think that?" 

"I know what to do in situations like that.  I've been train for… God I've trained others to deal with the same circumstances…I taught them what to and not to do."  He yelled pulling away from Kyle.  "I should have done something…anything…" His voice trailed off as he took a deep breath turning away from kids in front of him.

"It wasn't your fault.  No one's blaming you Valanti so don't waste the energy blaming yourself.   Michael said as Valanti turned to face him.  "Besides Max's isn't dead.  He's alive somewhere waiting for us to help him."

"I want to believe you, but…"

"He's not dead."  Liz said staring at her hand as she rotated it in front of her face.  She could feel it.  The uncontrollable energy building inside her, waiting for release and she knew that she should be afraid as she had been since this mysterious alien thing started to invade her life, but she wasn't any longer.  "He's not dead."  She repeated.

"Do you still feel him, Liz?"  Isabel asked her heart racing as she looked at her.  She seemed so out of it.  So unlike the control person she portray to the world.  "Is he alright?"

"Yes."  Liz said not turning her attention from her hand.  "I feel him."  She said her tears hovering in her eyes, her anger accelerating in her body. "We're alright.  We're not afraid because we know your coming to save us."

"What the hell…."  Maria cried her breathe caught in her throat as she watched the lost look on Liz's face.  "Michael…."

Going to stand in front of her Michael grabbed her arm pulling it from in front of her face.  "Get a grip Liz.  You have to get a grip."  He yelled trying to capture her eyes.  

Liz felt the energy building inside her.  Her anger, her pain surged through her until she felt the nausea that lingering in the pit of her stomach rush within her.  Raising her eyes slowly her face constricted by the rage she didn't try to control she looked into Michael's eyes.  Michael felt his heart slam against the wall of his chest forcefully as the extent of her pain, her anger hit him hard.   

"Liz…"  He moaned staring down at her his heart beating wilding. She was staring right into his eyes and yet Michael knew she didn't see him.  Didn't know that he was standing right in front of her.  

Her body suddenly started to tremble uncontrollable, her eyes shot closed, hands balled tightly into fists at her side.  The group around her watched shocked.  They didn't know what was happening to her, didn't know what to do to help her.

"Liz…Liz… what going on…damn it talk to me…"  Maria yelled.  "Michael do something…please do something." 

Her eyes snapped open the same instant Michael reached out to grab her.  Flinging her hands in the air she suddenly released the energy inside her, sending the others around her flying forcefully backwards through the air.  She stood looking down that them lying around her on the cold dirty floor of the desert her chest heaving. "You're running out of time." She said her voice overshadowed by another voice.  "You're running out of time."   She repeated, giving into the darkness fighting for control she fell to the ground unconscious.

"Oh my God…Max…did you hear it?"  Isabel demanded getting to her feet.  "Did you hear he's voice?"

TBC  


	4. Concentrate Chapter Four

Chapter Four:

"Hold your ground."  He ordered his heart racing as he stared intently in front of him.  He blinked ignoring the stringing pain in his eyes as he tried to see through the black smoke covering the field.  Glancing around him he watched his men waiting impatiently for his orders.  "Go now!"  He shouted over the deafening roar of gunshots and shells exploding around them.

His body jerked forcefully backwards as a grenade exploded a few feet away.  He swiftly turned his head in the direction of the blast as he took a deep breath to replace the air that was pushed from his lungs at the impact.  The smoke filled air lodged in his throat choking him as he watched Christen the youngest of his men thrown violently backwards his body slamming onto the ground a few feet away.  He raced toward him dropping to his knees, his hands reaching out to grab him before he'd come to a complete stop.  He hauled Christen body up to his, the blood flowing through his veins rushing to his face.  "You will not die on me soldier."  He yelled pulling the limp form close to him.  "Damn it I'm giving you a direct order.  You will not die on me."  He shouted, closing his eyes for a moment against the nausea that suddenly hit him.   "You got your wish."  He murmured turning his head away as he let the dead body slide from his arms.  He absentmindedly reached out picking up Christens gun, his body trembling as he steadily got to his feet, his brows drawn into a scowl he stared out across the smoke blacken field.  His face-harden in a mask of fury as the adrenaline pumping through his veins merged with his rage stripping him of all control.

'I want to be a hero, sir."  Christens words echoed in his head.  'I want to be a hero, sir."

"Ahhhhhhhh………"  He screamed racing forward his semi-automatic pointed towards the ones who dare take one so young, his finger repeatedly pressing the trigger, arming at anything that moved on the other side of the field.

________________________________________________________________________ 

The guards paced the vicinity of the mansion C7A1 assault rifles strapped across their bodies, AK47's held firmly in their grasps as they inspection the surrounding grounds. 

"Report Black."

Pulling the communicator from his pocket Black pressed the side button.  "All's well."  He stared around him at the beautiful garden surrounding him.  "Sir."

"What's that Black?"

"I was just wondering sir, why the up grade in security?"

.

"You're not paid to think.  Just do what your told.  Over and out."

"Yes, sir."  Black said sarcastically as he pushed the walkie-talkie back into his pocket.  Sighing he closed his eyes for a moment.  'Fifteen years in the marines and this is where I end up.'

He made his way around the area coming across a patio.  He stared at the two people sitting at the table a few yards away.  'This must be the one's who pays the bills.'  He said to himself watching them.  The young man snapped his fingers and a servant suddenly out of nowhere appeared in front of him and then disappeared just as quickly only to return with a small mirror, which she relinquished immediately.  God… he hated people like them.  Everything in him wanted to say screw this job and walk away, but walk away to what?  Taking a deep breath he sighed.  "How the hell did I end up here?"  He mumbled.  As if he'd summoned them the images raced through him.

'Shells ricocheting from the decade of an abandoned car, bullet's slamming into him once, twice before it dropped him in his tracks.  Struggling to get to his feet, the world spinning around him.  Turning his head to witness Tim, Pete and Michael cut down a few yards away.  Watching helpless as his men, his friends fought to hold down the forte.  Giving into the dark wave fighting for control.  Waking up in a hospital bed safe, alive and wanting to die as his last mission raced through him.  Standing in front of his regiment receiving a medal for bravery.  His heart racing, slamming forcefully inside him as he stood in attention allowing his superior to pin the medal to his chest, wanting to take that medal and smash it into his face.'

Taking a deep breath he forcefully pushed the unwanted memories away as he returned his attention back to the people on the patio, his heart pounding as he tried to control the guilt that always consumed him when he thought about his last year in the military.

He slumped down in his seat, his body trembling as he pulled the blanket tighter around him.  He felt so cold that not even the ninety-eight degree weather could ease the chill raking his body.

"What happened to me?"  He demanded struggling to sit up in his seat.  

"I…I don't know.  Maybe it's just a side affect from him healing you."

He snapped his fingers summoning a servant.  Groaning he closed his eyes against the dizziness that hit him at the movement.  

"Mirror…now!"  He stared after the servant girl who quickly retreated to do his bidding before he turned back to his wife.   "Where is he?"  He pinned her with his eyes, his rage causing the air to leave her body swiftly as she encountered his unexpected anger.

"He's….he's dead."  She mumbled intertwining her fingers nervously together.

Clayton pulled his eyes away from her and stared at the girl standing in front of him a frighten look on her face.  Opening his hand he tilted his head gritting his teeth against the dizziness he'd come to expect at ever movement.  He watched her eyes dart from his face to his hand before she placed the mirror in his hand.  God he hated people like her.  Useless, spineless creatures afraid of their own shadows.   Their sorry lives a disgrace.  "Get the hell away from me."  He yelled a smile spreading across his lips as he watched her eyes opened wide in shock before she turned and fled back into the house.

The smile disappeared just as quickly as it appeared when he drew his eyes to the mirror in his hand.  He stared stunned at his reflection.  It was him and yet it wasn't.  Where once his head was coated with brown it was now replaced with black.  His eyes…his amazing baby blue eyes was now as blown as the coffee he consumed every morning.  He reached up touching his face in awe.

"I guess that alien blood was more powerful then we thought."  He drew his hand up to his face and watched it as it trembled.  "What's wrong with me?  Why do I feel as if I'm on deaths door?"

"We need to give it some time.   It's only been about ten hours since he healed you.  You need to rest…Clayton.  By tomorrow morning you should be fine." 

Clayton sighed as he let the mirror drop from his hands.  'Maybe she's right.  A whole day of sleep sounds like heaven at the moment.'  "Okay…. Rest."  Pushing the blanket off of his shoulders he gripped the edge of the table with both hands.  Mya got to her feet and hurried to his side to contribute her strength to his, but she could not support his weight.   Guiding him back to his seat she grabbed the bell sitting on the table.  She rang it twice before she tossed it back on the table.

"Yes, Madam?"  Sara stole a glance at Clayton before she let her eyes rest on the ground in front of her.

"Sara… inform the nurse that Mr. Clayton is ready to go in now."   She stared at the nervous creature making her way back into the house.  "God it's hard to find good help."  She mumbled as she took her seat.  "You'll see Clayton….by tomorrow everything will be fine."

Clayton smiled as he grabbed the blanket pulling it back around him.  "Yes… it will be.   Tomorrow we start eliminating everything and everyone who can link us to that boy."   He captured her eyes with his ignoring the pain that shot through him as he leaned towards her.   "I want every trace of his existence gone.  I don't care what we have to do to accomplish it.  Get Mcklan on the phone and inform him that we're moving onto the next phase."

TBC


End file.
